It's funny, you don't realize how many people you've met in a city until you start seeing some of the same ones in different places regularly. It's a common idea that most people stick to familiar nightlife spots because people like to drink in places that they're comfortable with. Most people have a "regular" spot or a "go to." I usually rotate between a large pool of places- on one particular night I ended up at a spot I frequent nearly once a week. It's called "Mr. Days." Imagine a sports bar with two levels. It usually doesn't take too long to get a drink and there's a dance floor that caters to a younger crowd, the average age is probably 24ish.
I usually hit this bar after I've had a good number of drinks while in the company of a handful of friends. On this night, I broke off from my group and did my wondering thing. While cruising solo coming back from the bathroom, I spotted a blond and brunette (7 & 8) standing by themselves near the top of the steps on the second level.
"Hey! What are you two out celebrating tonight?" I asked as I walked up.
"What?" one of them asked giving me a look like she was offended that I ruined their conversation.
"Uh, we remember you, you used that line on us already." One of the girls said trying to cut my confidence in half as they both burst into obnoxious laughter.
"Oh? So we've met before? I'm sorry I don't remember you guys." I said nonchalantly with a charming smiling as this was not the first time I'd ever encountered this. "And where did we meet?"
"Don't worry about it," blurted out one of the girls still laughing as she did a hair flip turn and walked away.
"No wait, I'm serious, I tend to meet a lot of people. I don't always remember everyone I talk to; especially if it's the end of the night. Do you remember my name or even what we talked about?" I asked the one that hadn't already started to walk away.
"You got my number over at Spider Kelleys." She said folding her arms.
"Alright, let me check my phone, what's your name?" I asked pulling my phone out of my pocket and scrolling through my contacts.
"It's Heather." She said confidently.
"Well hey Heather, my name is Taylor." I said extending my hand to shake hers.
"Is my number in your phone?" She asked looking down at my hand refusing to touch it; then fixing her gaze on my phone.
I let out a big sigh, "Ok, It's entirely possible. I wouldn't write it off that we've met. Let's see," I shuffled through my contacts and pulled up the only random 'Heather' in my phone without a last name or notes in it. I open the details to display the number.
"Is this you?" I asked smiling turning the screen towards her.
"Oh my god, that's my number. What a creep!" she shrieked turning away and rushing towards a nearby group of about five guys only ten feet away.
This was not the response I expected. "Hey Heather, we're not done here?" I called after her.
I stood there perplexed for a moment. I scratched my head while I watched her approach the near by group of guys and use exagerated bodly language while appearing to explain our brief encounter. This was followed by uproarious laughter as she turned sideways and pointed directly at me, "Yeah! He's standing right there! What a fucking weirdo -right?!"
More laughter. What the hell was going on here? I walked over in an unassuming fashion to quel what could be an over blown misunderstanding. Just as I came up next to her she darted around the guys and headed towards another group nearby. "Hey wait!" I yelled after her as she vanished behind a torrent of moving people. I turn toward the group of guys, "What did that girl say about me to you guys?"
"Dude," one of the guys pipped up, "leave her alone man." I gave him an "oh really" face as two of the guys in the group mumbled something inaudible to each other as the both nodded in agreement while looking at me.
"Clearly you the situation was explained improperly... I don't even know that girl, I must have met her bla..." I spot Heather pointing at me and laughing while standing with a different group people in the bar (mostly made up girls). They were having a great laugh at my expense a little further away. This was getting out of hand.
"The fuck is this?!" I yell after her as I walk away from the guys to do damage control.
I approach the second group and begin to explain the situation to blank stares. As I look past them, I see Heather talking and gesturing in my direction while standing with yet another large group further away.
"Oh Godamnit!" I yell while in the middle of the upstairs while leaving the second group I was in the middle of trying to convince that I'm not a stalker.
"That's still pretty creepy," one of the girls says stirring her drink with a straw and lifting it to her face while she looked back and forth at her friends who were nodding in agreement. They all appeared deeply concerned that a stalker (me) was in their midst.
"Well, well-you're a fucking idiot." I say walking away running my fingers through my hair and over my face.
My entire talent pool was being poisoned. I've never experienced anyone making such a concerted effort to sabotage my night. What made it worse was that none of it was deserved. I hadn't done anything wrong here. Even if I were to somehow try to turn the situation around on her, I still don't appear to be a good guy. My game was shaken enough to bring me into a shallow hole of frustration and put me in a despondent mood. Part of me knew I had persevered after worse. But given that it was a less crowded night and I was in a sour mood, I didn't think I had any business being at that bar anymore.
Before I go any further in this story, I have to note that it's my personal belief that you should never let anyone control your thoughts, feelings, or attitude unless their existence has a major significance on your life. And even then, I don't think there is any reason that you should ever let someone get you down on yourself.
I left the bar a few minutes later trying to figure out what to do with these feelings of inadequacy. I had been taken for a ride. I felt cheated and beaten. I'm fully aware that in some situations I probably deserve that type of embarrassment or action done to me, but not for this. It's not like I had been sending her "cock pix" via text. As I pondered over a cigarette once we got back, I begin to pull up a hazy memory of meeting this Heather girl the week before at the bar she had mentioned just before last call. I probably got her number with little more than a minute of conversation and I likely did it as an immature drunk confident boost to be able to say, "well tonight wasn't a complete waste of time." I doubt I had any intentions of actually calling but it's like getting a useless conciliation prize.
If you've read any of my stories, you'd know that I'm not one to be defeated so easily.
Upon waking, I set my mind to using Heather's number against her. What types of things can you do with a random phone number? A quick google search for "spam a phone number" turned up limited options. Most of my options required me to to sign up for most of the services and confirm via text that I wanted to be spammed. I also wanted to stay stealthy and distance myself from the project. Craigslist was prefect solution for this problem.
I got on the free section of craigslist and clicked post, I then crafted the perfect ad using an old e-mail address. It read something like this, "I'm moving today and I've been trying to sell my Phillips 42 inch plasma TV, it's about 4 years old but works perfectly. I originally posted it for $350 but at this point it just needs to be out of my apartment. I can help you move it, I just need it out of here. I'll be home for a few more hours. My phone doesn't get e-mails right now so you can call me and I'll let you know where I live.
-Heather (703)###-####"
I posted the ad with a big smile and kicked my feet up while staring at the ceiling. I imagined the hundreds of phone calls and the irate nature of the craigslisters finding out there was no free tv. It was by no means the nicest solution, but I felt justified that I offered up a pantheon of awkward moments in response for an unnecessary wrong doing to me.
Flash forward a few months.
I was drinking at a little hole in the wall bar not far from Mr. Days. I took a smoke break and sat down with a friend on metal patio chairs near the front door outside. A slightly chubby girl approached me and tapped my shoulder, "Do you know my friend?"
"Um, Maybe," I said looking around starting to laugh at the vagueness of her question. "I know lots of people's friends. Is she real or imaginary?"
"No, you're the fucking creep that put my friends number on craigslist." She said folding her arms and squinting at me.
I hadn't made the connection yet, "You've got the wrong guy, I don't have a clue what you're talking about. Was this a casual encounters thing? Who is your friend?"
"Her name is Heather, you got her number, and stalked her." She said raising her voice trying to draw more attention to her tirade.
I looked around to see if people were watching me, "What are you on drugs? Hunny, you must have me confused for someone else. I don't have the slightest clue as to what you're talking about. I'm not sure you realize how crazy you sound. Let me get this straight, a girl I don't know thinks I put her number on craigslist. Does she have any proof?"
"She knows it was you. My friend doesn't even want to come over here because she recognized you and is scared to come near." Said the girl standing behind me.
I begin to realize that I AM the guy she's talking about, but I stick to my guns. That looney bitch isn't going to get me twice.
"Is this how you pick up guys at bars because I could teach you some way better techniques." I said laughing at her while my friend blew smoke in her face and began to laugh too.
"You should apologize to my friend right now. She got phone calls from strange people all day." Said the girl.
I cracked a big smile, success.
"Apologize to your friend for putting you up to this? Or for being being a nutjob? Nah, I don't think so. I'm sorry that I'm entertained by this." I said tapping some ash off the end of my cigarette.
"You do realize you sound quite crazy" my friend chimed in.
I leaned back and fixed my eyes on this girl, "this is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. What kind of chick walks around accusing strangers of playing weird child games. I don't know you or your friend but if you're going to be rude about this entire thing and end this discussion right now. You must be out of your mind to walk up to someone you don't know with such a bizarre accusation. As a matter of fact, if the person who did it was questioned, why the hell would they give you a straight answer either way. Tell your friend to grow up and if she's afraid to come drink here because of misunderstanding, I say you leave her outside. But I'm not going to play stupid games through a translater. If she wants to come by and apologize to me I'll be here."
As I finished my last words more of my friends came to my defense. And reassured the girl that I had nothing to do with such a scandalous act.
"Taylor's a great guy, that's something he would never do." I heard one of them say sincerely.
The girl looked at me puzzled and then stood up tall and peered over her shoulder to where no doubt her friends were waiting. "I'm sorry, you seem like a really nice guy. This was stupid. I feel stupid."
"It's ok hun, you should feel a little stupid. You take care of that looney friend of yours. Don't let her get you into to much trouble" I said as she backed away from the table with a confused look on her face.
By now the rest of my friends had gathered and one was giving me an incredulous look. "Did you really post a girl's number on craigslist?!"
I burst out laughing, "Of course I did?! Why would you put that type of behavior past me? That girl's friend was a total cunt!"
A roar of laughter erupted as we flicked our cigarettes into the street and headed to a empty spot at the bar for more drinks.
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